Today I visited a psychologist for the first time in my life. He seemed really good on paper and i was both excited and axious to meet him today. He was a small relatively "well built" guy with short black hair and beard. The walls in the room was covered in diplomas and awards and different decorative items. I was ordered to sit down on a white leather coach.
I put on my social mask and intoduced myself, we fixed payments and everything up front and he sat down on the other side of the room. I wasn't sure where to start or what to say, so I decided to just test the water and air some thoughts.
I immediately felt that there was some kind of disconnect. He was looking at his phone nearly the whole time while talking to me, and I felt that he did not pay proper attention to me, nor did he take me too seriously. I feel like this might have been because of my relatively young age and the "witty tone" i put on. The reason for this is that im afraid of telling exactly whats on my mind without sounding silly or being made fun of . As a reaction he seemed to play a very "cool" role, as to adapt to my age. The only thing he seemed to talk about was how i needed to party and interact with girls, and i quote: "You need a blowjob".
I just couldn't take this guy seriously. He was just such a contradiction to myself. He also kept on commenting on my hair and how i needed to get it cut. Which was true enough, but not why i was there. We kept talking, and i felt like we didn't progress at all, and he kept talking about girls, partying and his recent trip to Jamaica. I was really trying my hardest at this point to reach out to him and fish out some pointers on what I could do to improve upon my mental situation. Instead, he started showing me pictures of his airplane and women from a dating site he was browsing on his smartphone. Telling me which ones he thought were hot and his past experiences with women. The only thing this achieved was making me uncomfortable, and I ended up finding out that he had bought the airplane to fight his own depression during his seperation from his wife. At this point i felt like i was almost comforting him more than he comforted me. His storytelling continued for a little longer before he got up and showed me to his car outside.
For some reason he wanted to take me for a ride, he turned up the volume and put on some, to my surprise, really good music. He lowered the roof of his sports car while The rolling stones were blasting from the speakers. We drove a trip around on the highway, exceeding the speed limit by ridiculous amounts, before he put me off at the hair salon. I still don't really understand the point of this, but at least I got my long needed haircut.
Im scheduled for another appointment tomorrow, but if it continues like this, I'm not feeling too positive. Maybe i should seek out another Psychologist?
Edit: Of course, there might be something I'm missing here, and this is all some kind of strategy which will unfold after a few meetings. I'll keep positive for now, but it was definitely a very weird and unexpected experience.