Home is where the heart is

 "Soria Moria castle" painted by Theodor Kittelsen

I'm sitting here at 1:30 am on a monday morning/night(?), and I really feet in the mood to write something, however I just can't come up with anything interesting. So instead, I'm just gonna post a short uninteresting update on my current life situation in order to fulfill my craving to write.

So last year around august, I travelled to the U.S to attend an international high school in New York. I wasn't sure what to expect, but all in all it's been quite a cool experience. I'm attending an IB school, so the work is definitely much harder than what I'm used to back home in Norway. I had a really good start, straight A's, but then I pretty much threw in the towel around spring break, and I don't believe I will be able to finish the year with passing grades. I've skipped way too many classes after spring break. These last couple of weeks have been rough, I've had ridiculous home sickness, and I've felt extremely loneley.
I struggle a bit socially, and haven't really been able to reach out to many people around school, thus I spend most my time in solitude. This really wears on you in the long run, and I think it's the main reason behind my changing mood these days. My head just refuses to focus on the tasks at hand, and I make stupid decisions.

To be honest, theres only one thing on my head these days, and that is home. I really miss my friends. I just.. I really fucking miss you guys!
Although it's only been a few months since i went home for christmas, it felt so short and before I knew it, I was back to the everyday stress of school. Well, now its only about two weeks until I go home (June, 18th), and it's literally the only thing I can think about. The biggest event of the year is waiting for me, summer vacation, and I'm making all kinds of imaginary plans in my head. Mainly I seek to spend more time outside, and be more social. My freinds largely seems to agree, which makes me positive that we'll be able to stick to our plans. We're gradually losing interest in spending all our time in front of the computer, and instead spend more time together, doing something for the environment and evolving as individuals. Which I find thrilling. Secondly, I'm looking for a part time job, in order to make som extra cash to support the fun and save for our big hike a few years down the path.  In addition, my buddy has gotten his drivers license, and we've got both cars and boats ready at our disposal, so I am positive this will be an amazing summer!
How about you? I'd love to hear what you've got planned for the summer!

Pursuing my dreams: Alexander Supertramp

For the last three years I've been completely obsessed with the world around me, the nature, monuments, cultures and animals. The beauty and variation is staggering, and something which we are yet to discover anywhere else in the universe. Just let that sink in.
We are extremely lucky here on earth. The problem is, I've been too young to do all these things, too young to travel alone, too young to work and too young to make my own decision. However, that have all changed now, and I'm going to make the most of it.

I think it all started a few years back, my mom were working, and only my sister, father and me were home. We were stuck in front of the TV like any other family on a friday night, looking for a movie to watch. After browsing the channels for a while we ended up watching the movie "Into the the wild" which I'm sure a lot of you are familar with. If not, I highly recommend it. It's based on the book with the same title, which again is based on a true story. In short, it's about a guy who drops everything to pursue his dream and live in solitude in the Alaskan wilderness. However, its the travel to his destination which i found the most inspirational. The hike itself. All the beautiful sights and people. It made me think wtf I'm doing with my life. I literally live my life in front of a computer screen, living my life inside alternative cyber worlds. It's not the way i want to live my life. I don't want to hide within some fake world with my fake titles and achievements. I want to explore, experience, evolve, and exceed my expectations! - No Excuses!

 No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become... 

Lost in the wild

I'm afraid I wouldn't have the courage to take on the world alone, but fortunately I have the best like-minded buddy ever, which shares pretty much all my views and dreams. We've decided to leave within two years, when he has finished his education, and we've saved up a little bit of money. Our goal is not to go on a year long vacation, fly around and live on expensive hotels. Not at all. This will be a life lesson, it will be a tough journey were we will carry only the essentials materials for survival. We will travel from destination to destination by foot or hitchhiking dependant on our luck. Our reasoning for this is that we've both grown up in a very rich country, with all the resources we could ever need; shielded from the hardships and struggles that is the everyday life of so many other people. We're afraid we've become unappreciative of what we've got here, and would like a reality check. In addition we think it will provide a more real travel experience.

On our journey we want to help the people we meet, through anything from positive energy or physical labour. I've already browsed the net for potential areas where we can do volunteer work for food and shelter along the way, which I believe will be good for when we need to take a break from the life on the road, breathe and absorb our surroundings. As for now, we've already managed to negotiate a free trip with the Kiel ferry from Norway to Germany through some realtives of my friend. Thus we will have a few lazy days before our true journey kicks off a few years down the road. We are fully aware that this will be very hard, and that we need to prepare sufficiently, but we're also confident that we can do it. Obviously we can't wait to pursue our dreams, and are extremely excited for the experiences the world has in store for us, peace!

Psychologist: My first experience

Today I visited a psychologist for the first time in my life. He seemed really good on paper and i was both excited and axious to meet him today. He was a small relatively "well built" guy with short black hair and beard. The walls in the room was covered in diplomas and awards and different decorative items. I was ordered to sit down on a white leather coach.
I put on my social mask and intoduced myself, we fixed payments and everything up front and he sat down on the other side of the room. I wasn't sure where to start or what to say, so I decided to just test the water and air some thoughts.

I immediately felt that there was some kind of disconnect. He was looking at his phone nearly the whole time while talking to me, and I felt that he did not pay proper attention to me, nor did he take me too seriously. I feel like this might have been because of my relatively young age and the "witty tone" i put on. The reason for this is that im afraid of telling exactly whats on my mind without sounding silly or being made fun of . As a reaction he seemed to play a very "cool" role, as to adapt to my age. The only thing he seemed to talk about was how i needed to party and interact with girls, and i quote: "You need a blowjob".
I just couldn't take this guy seriously. He was just such a contradiction to myself. He also kept on commenting on my hair and how i needed to get it cut. Which was true enough, but not why i was there. We kept talking, and i felt like we didn't progress at all, and he kept talking about girls, partying and his recent trip to Jamaica. I was really trying my hardest at this point to reach out to him and fish out some pointers on what I could do to improve upon my mental situation. Instead, he started showing me pictures of his airplane and women from a dating site he was browsing on his smartphone. Telling me which ones he thought were hot and his past experiences with women. The only thing this achieved was making me uncomfortable, and I ended up finding out that he had bought the airplane to fight his own depression during his seperation from his wife. At this point i felt like i was almost comforting him more than he comforted me. His storytelling continued for a little longer before he got up and showed me to his car outside.

For some reason he wanted to take me for a ride, he turned up the volume and put on some, to my surprise, really good music. He lowered the roof of his sports car while The rolling stones were blasting from the speakers. We drove a trip around on the highway, exceeding the speed limit by ridiculous amounts, before he put me off at the hair salon. I still don't really understand the point of this, but at least I got my long needed haircut.

Im scheduled for another appointment tomorrow, but if it continues like this, I'm not feeling too positive. Maybe i should seek out another Psychologist?

Edit: Of course, there might be something I'm missing here, and this is all some kind of strategy which will unfold after a few meetings. I'll keep positive for now, but it was definitely a very weird and unexpected experience.