Happy, a.. movie review?

 No copyright infringement intended.

Its no secret that I've been a person who has struggled with a lot of negative thoughts throughout my life. Thoughts that seeminly popped out of the blue. I've seen this countless times around me in my daily life as well. Confessions from friends, who seemingly seemed perfectly happy and in control of their lives would open up to me, admit self harm and thoughts of taking their own lives. It seems weird, as I live in one of the top ranked HDI countries in the world, which should indicate that we live like kings and queens. Seeing this all around me, for an extended period of time made me question wether true happiness existed. It came to the point where I would no longer believe people who claimes they where happy. I would just take it as another lie or mask they hid behind. However, in recent times, I've question my way of thinking more and more, and today I watched a movie which nearly put the nail in the coffin to my whole theory. The movie "Happy."

The movie tells us the stories of a few people, living quite different lifestyles, who believe they have found true happiness. It also tries to explain us a little bit of the science behind happiness and depression, what causes it and how we can prevent it. We're presented with quite a few different people and personalities. Despite this, there seems to be a repeating pattern in where people find happiness. No surprise, it's not found in money, objects or reputation.  In fact, activities which provide social stimuli seems to be the best cure for depression.

While the movie itself is no masterpiece, the people and stories we're introduced to is just so touching and inspiring, you'd have to be quite cold in order to not enjoy it to some degree. If you're searching for a feel good movie, I wouldn't hesistate to recommend this. It carries an important message of love and compassion, which I believe our world is in desperate need for these days. I'd say its an inspiration for me to continue the "spiritual" lifestyle which I've been pursuing the last six months or so, as I'm getting more and more certain that its the right path for me to someday find true happiness.

Pursuing my dreams: Alexander Supertramp

For the last three years I've been completely obsessed with the world around me, the nature, monuments, cultures and animals. The beauty and variation is staggering, and something which we are yet to discover anywhere else in the universe. Just let that sink in.
We are extremely lucky here on earth. The problem is, I've been too young to do all these things, too young to travel alone, too young to work and too young to make my own decision. However, that have all changed now, and I'm going to make the most of it.

I think it all started a few years back, my mom were working, and only my sister, father and me were home. We were stuck in front of the TV like any other family on a friday night, looking for a movie to watch. After browsing the channels for a while we ended up watching the movie "Into the the wild" which I'm sure a lot of you are familar with. If not, I highly recommend it. It's based on the book with the same title, which again is based on a true story. In short, it's about a guy who drops everything to pursue his dream and live in solitude in the Alaskan wilderness. However, its the travel to his destination which i found the most inspirational. The hike itself. All the beautiful sights and people. It made me think wtf I'm doing with my life. I literally live my life in front of a computer screen, living my life inside alternative cyber worlds. It's not the way i want to live my life. I don't want to hide within some fake world with my fake titles and achievements. I want to explore, experience, evolve, and exceed my expectations! - No Excuses!

 No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become... 

Lost in the wild

I'm afraid I wouldn't have the courage to take on the world alone, but fortunately I have the best like-minded buddy ever, which shares pretty much all my views and dreams. We've decided to leave within two years, when he has finished his education, and we've saved up a little bit of money. Our goal is not to go on a year long vacation, fly around and live on expensive hotels. Not at all. This will be a life lesson, it will be a tough journey were we will carry only the essentials materials for survival. We will travel from destination to destination by foot or hitchhiking dependant on our luck. Our reasoning for this is that we've both grown up in a very rich country, with all the resources we could ever need; shielded from the hardships and struggles that is the everyday life of so many other people. We're afraid we've become unappreciative of what we've got here, and would like a reality check. In addition we think it will provide a more real travel experience.

On our journey we want to help the people we meet, through anything from positive energy or physical labour. I've already browsed the net for potential areas where we can do volunteer work for food and shelter along the way, which I believe will be good for when we need to take a break from the life on the road, breathe and absorb our surroundings. As for now, we've already managed to negotiate a free trip with the Kiel ferry from Norway to Germany through some realtives of my friend. Thus we will have a few lazy days before our true journey kicks off a few years down the road. We are fully aware that this will be very hard, and that we need to prepare sufficiently, but we're also confident that we can do it. Obviously we can't wait to pursue our dreams, and are extremely excited for the experiences the world has in store for us, peace!

Lucid dreaming: Controlling the being within

Disclaimer: The following post was written while severely sleep deprived, so the quality of the content might be sub·par.

No copyright infringement intended, picture will be removed upon request.

I'm sure most of you have had a  really  realistic dream at some point in your life. I don't mean one of those dreams where you wake up and think: "Damn, that was a cool dream." I mean one of those dreams that are so realistic you're convinced it actually happened for quite some time even after waking up. For me these kinds of dreams are few and far apart, but when i do have one, it usually sticks in my memory even after waking up, which is quite unusual for dreams.
 Anyways, as an example I'll use one that I had a really long time ago, I might have been around 9-10 years old.

I had been to an outdoor pool with my family the previous day and wasn't exactly a proficient swimmer. I spent most of my time admiring the couragous guys who would throw themselves off the 10 metre tall diving tower while performing a wide variety of acrobatic stunts. I was extremely jealous of how cool they looked, and the only thing I could think of was seeing myself flying of the edge.
Suddenly I felt a rush through my body and I rised to my feet, I was gonna do it. I started the long climb of stairs to the top. I was in my element. Here I was, half the size and age of everyone else who was waiting at the top. They were all staring at me as i ran, leaped off the platform and into the air. I was the center of attention, I could feel their eyes following me as my body closed in on the blank water surface. It was the best day of my life.
I could remember every detail as I lay in my bed, thinking of the miracles that had unfolded the day before. I got out of my bed and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, eager to brag about yesterdays feat to my parents. "Mom, mom, did you see me yesterday? Did you see me jump?" My mom seemed confused. "What do you mean, jump? " "From the diving tower, you saw it, right?" I responded. It was obvious by the look on her face that she had no idea what i was talking about, and I slowly realised what had happened. I had dreamed that i jumped. In reality I had never even left myspectator spot.

After this I've had a few similar experiences, and only a few years ago did i truly understand what these experiences actually was. Or at least i think I know? The dreams I had was lucid dreams, but instead of consciously taking control of the dream, I had done so unconsciously, resulting in a dream almost inseparable from the real world.
So what exactly is a "lucid dream?" Well, in short, it's any dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming. What this means is that one can take control of the dream and do all kinds of crazy stuff which would be impossible in the real world, while still maintaining a feel of reality. While these dreams usually come quite randomly, it's actually possible to learn how to control it, and lucid dream on a regular basis.

I've tried to master this for quite a while now, but I find it really hard and have only been successful in one controlled lucid dream thus far. However, I haven't really been trying too much the last couple of months, and it's something I would really love to put more time into this summer. There are quite a few different methods to go about achieving a lucid dream, and the one I've been using is called the WILD technique and seems to be the most straight forward way.

Have you ever had any experiences with lucid dreams, or even tips for me to improve? I would love to hear your thoughts!

There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice.

Im writing this post on the 25th of May, the day of my birthday. And I'd like to write about a topic that i believe is relevant to this day, as I'm turning 18. As of today, I'm officially legal, which means I am "allowed" to make a change in our society. I'm finally allowed to make my own choices. I am my own master, and i intend to make the most of it. Although my parents might argue that I've followed my own path for a long time already, I wouldn't agree fully. While i might have been a bit more stubborn than your average teenager, I've still felt trapped, and desperate. It has felt as I've been living my life for someone else, following the rules set by my parents and the community I grew up in. There was only one path, the one accpeted by society. Any other path would lead to a dessert, and leave me as an outcast.

I'm sure a lot of you can agree that you've felt a certain ammount of pressure from your surroundings, be it cultural or social, to perform, to reach a certain level. A level which might not suit you. Might not be relevant to your interests or strenghts, but it's the only accepted way, right? As a teenager I've seen this all around me the last couple of years. Do a survey at a random high school, and i'll bet you that more than 50% of the students want to become one of these three professions: doctor, engineer or lawyer. Don't get me wrong, it's great that youth are seemingly interested in sciences. However, if you look at said students grades and interest in those related classes, it will quickly reveal itself that there is another aspect determining their answer. The social aspect.
It's outright embarassing for your average high school student to publicly announce that they wish to become a carpenter. So instead of having talented carpenters who legitemately love their job, we get creative talented people trapped in office buildings, doing an half-assed job because they're apalled by their work. Just look at Asia for example, famous for their rigorous studies, brains and exponential suicide rates.
I saw my friends from jr. High make the same mistakes, people whom i knew was not strong in theoretical subjects, but still chose a rigerious science curriculum because anything else "is for scrubs and retards." Then i watched them drop out a year later. I made the same mistake, and it has left me miserable and depressed. Because living a life off of someone else's  premises just straight out sucks. It sucks! We need to explore all our options in order to find something that fits us. Life shouldn't be a battle to get up every morning. We should look forward to our day, with the feeling that today, today I'm gonna evolve and explore.

I've come to my terms. School might not be the thing for me, I've tried my best several times now, but the outcome has been the same. I've reached a conclusion and it does not leave me feeling broke and beaten. I might have my struggles, some challenges i can't overcome, but I am not stupid. I am an intelligent, thinking human being, and I will do with my life as I please. It doesn't matter how society sees me, I will show that commitment, passion and compassion is what gets you far in life. I will do my absolute best to be the best person i can, both to myself and to the people around me. I urge you to do the same. Peace out!

Individually we are one drop, together we are an ocean.

Today I'd like to share some thoughts on making that all important first step and thinking like a community. There are more than 7.1 billion people on earth at the time of writing this. That's a huge number, and might make you feel small and insignificant. I know how it feels, and it makes me lazy and out of condition to do anything, because: whats the point, right?

This way of thinking is extremely harmful, not only to myself but to the whole community and the people who are close to me. It hinders me from unlocking the potential within myself and it makes me down and depressed. Becuase joy resides in being kind to the people around us, and by chastesising oneself all of this is thrown directly out the window.

A few months back i decided to become a vegetarian, at this point i had eaten meat my whole life and it came as quite a shock to many of my closest friends and relatives. However, I had read my fair share on the topic, and decided that it made sense for me in order to back my own living ethics. What surprised me though, was the reaction I got. They would ask me why I would go through such a hassle, you're a single person in 7 billion, there's no way you'll make a change. This is a very toxic way of thinking which seems to be quite common. Alone we might not be able to make and impact, but together we most certainly can. It's all about being part of a community, with other likeminded people who wish to achieve the same as oneself. It doesn't have to be something huge as battling world hunger or solving the water crisis. It could be something small, like trying to avoid using plastic bags when going to the store, or start recycling. It's all about battling that little voice in your head that says: "I'll only have one more" or "Throwing away this one thing won't have an impact." Trust me, it will when millions of others are thinking the exact same way. Make sure to dicipline that voice, take control of yourself and make that all important step. You can make a change!

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi

Meditation: An introduction to Vipassana

I was introduced to meditation around 6 months ago by a close friend of mine. At this time i hadn't really explored my 'spiritual' side too much, and I do still see myself as more of a scientific thinker. However, i do find many of the ideas within spirituallity to be very interesting, as they usually expand upon the ideas and theories already established in science. While I'm uttermost critic to most of these spiritual theories, they are extremly facinating and entertaining, and may provide a foundation which science can build upon and either prove or completely shatter.

One of these spitual practises which have been widely practised for decades are meditation. This is one of the practises which benefits are no longer questioned and includes stress reduction, improved attention, better memory, and even increased creativity and feelings of compassion. In addition i would highly recommend it for anyone who suffers from depression, not as the only solution, but in addition to social activities and friendship. My personal  reasons for this, is that a meditation session can completely clean your mind from all thoughts, giving you a fresh start to an otherwise depressing morning.

 A buddhist Monk meditating 

(Origins of photo unknown. No copyright infringement intended. Picture will be immediately removed upon request.)

The technique I would recommend for people to start of with is called "Vipassana" and was the technique used by Buddah as he reached enlightenment under the Bhodi tree. It is easy enough to get into and learn, but extremely hard to master. I'm not going to explain the full extent of the practise myself here on the blog, as this has been done countless times before by better writers than myself all over the internet. Instead I'm going to redirect you to what I've found to be the most complete "guide" on the subject which can be found here. I would a recommend reading everything up to and excluding "walking meditation."

An excuse i hear over and over again when people are introduced to Meditation is that they do not have enough time. Work, kids etc. However, this is not true. In order to be able to function in society and be able to take care of the people around oneself, it's crucial to put of enough time to take care of oneself first. If this is neglected, stress and anxiety will build up over time, with negative consequences. There is an old zen saying that goes like this: "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour." While this might sound absurd, it carries an important message. Humans are never too busy to neglect the basic needs of own health.
These are my two cents on meditatin for now, over to you, what are your thoughts on meditation?

Psychologist: My first experience

Today I visited a psychologist for the first time in my life. He seemed really good on paper and i was both excited and axious to meet him today. He was a small relatively "well built" guy with short black hair and beard. The walls in the room was covered in diplomas and awards and different decorative items. I was ordered to sit down on a white leather coach.
I put on my social mask and intoduced myself, we fixed payments and everything up front and he sat down on the other side of the room. I wasn't sure where to start or what to say, so I decided to just test the water and air some thoughts.

I immediately felt that there was some kind of disconnect. He was looking at his phone nearly the whole time while talking to me, and I felt that he did not pay proper attention to me, nor did he take me too seriously. I feel like this might have been because of my relatively young age and the "witty tone" i put on. The reason for this is that im afraid of telling exactly whats on my mind without sounding silly or being made fun of . As a reaction he seemed to play a very "cool" role, as to adapt to my age. The only thing he seemed to talk about was how i needed to party and interact with girls, and i quote: "You need a blowjob".
I just couldn't take this guy seriously. He was just such a contradiction to myself. He also kept on commenting on my hair and how i needed to get it cut. Which was true enough, but not why i was there. We kept talking, and i felt like we didn't progress at all, and he kept talking about girls, partying and his recent trip to Jamaica. I was really trying my hardest at this point to reach out to him and fish out some pointers on what I could do to improve upon my mental situation. Instead, he started showing me pictures of his airplane and women from a dating site he was browsing on his smartphone. Telling me which ones he thought were hot and his past experiences with women. The only thing this achieved was making me uncomfortable, and I ended up finding out that he had bought the airplane to fight his own depression during his seperation from his wife. At this point i felt like i was almost comforting him more than he comforted me. His storytelling continued for a little longer before he got up and showed me to his car outside.

For some reason he wanted to take me for a ride, he turned up the volume and put on some, to my surprise, really good music. He lowered the roof of his sports car while The rolling stones were blasting from the speakers. We drove a trip around on the highway, exceeding the speed limit by ridiculous amounts, before he put me off at the hair salon. I still don't really understand the point of this, but at least I got my long needed haircut.

Im scheduled for another appointment tomorrow, but if it continues like this, I'm not feeling too positive. Maybe i should seek out another Psychologist?

Edit: Of course, there might be something I'm missing here, and this is all some kind of strategy which will unfold after a few meetings. I'll keep positive for now, but it was definitely a very weird and unexpected experience. 

Introduction to the being

I grew up with my mom and dad, and my older sister in a middle class home, a happy place on the outskirts of a small city. I was a happy kid with a very few, very close frieds. I've always been kind of awkward, and not too good at social situations. I think its because im afraid of being a nuisance, and thus i don't easily branch out to people. Even when i was just a kid I was afraid to knock the door of my best friends house, and I'm still not exactly sure why. This is a trait I've carried to this day, and it makes it troublesome to make new friends, and the ones I have always have to make the first call. Something they still fortunately do to this day. Thank you.
Anyways, the years flew past like they would for any other kid: Playing with my friends and my video games whenever none of them were available. I did very well at school, although i was a little bit lazy, and proccrastinated a lot.This behaviour continued as i entered into middle school, up until the last semester of Jr. High. I had a girlfriend at this point, a sweet girl who's complete contradictory to myself, extremely outgoing.
It was amazing, because she managed to get the best out of me, around her i wasn't shy. I never had to make the first move, which made me relax and just enjoy her presence. However, she also made me realise that all the people around me were wearing masks.

I had known this girl for a long time, all through elementary school, but i knew little about her family or psyche. Her parents were seperated and she lived with her dad in a small house not far from mine. Her father was a short tempered guy, but he loved his children with all his heart, which was very clear, and they loved him back, so I wasn't alarmed.
One night a recieved a series of text messages from her, regarding her uncle. Her dad was having friends over and they were drunk, she was laying in her bed pretending to sleep when her uncle had come into the room and looked at her for a long while. He moved up to her and bent over her, running his fingers down her body. While this was goig on her dad entered the room and caught him red handed. A violent commotion ensued and her uncle was banned from the home.

We didn't talk much about this incident, and she seemed to joke it off the whole time, but it slowly came to my attention that she was changed. She kept her smile at school, and tried her best not to talk about it to anyone, however it was clear that she was deeply disturbed by the event. She quickly fell into deep depression and broke up with me soon after. I kept contact with her, wanting to help, but spending all your time with someone who is deeply depressed is almost like a hyper contagious virus. It grew on me and dragged me down. It changed my view on people around me, and more and more people came forth to me with their struggles. I dont know why. Maybe I was good at comforting people? Anyways, the sheer amount of people struggling was disturbing. They were all wearing masks with huge smiles, while on the inside they were bleeding. Just like me.

I started opening my eyes to the world around me, while ironically, I started isolating myself. I skipped a class here, and another there. Soon i stopped going to school entirely. Afraid of seeing the real extent of the apathy of human beings. We're not only destroying ourselves, but the world we live in. Every day i witness something foul and disturbing, either in the real world or online. I might make another post about that later, although i find it very hard to describe my feelings with words.
Moving on, I never really got rid of this depression, and it haunted me as i started High school, which ended up being a rerun of Jr. High and finally me dropping out. Im currently in an internation high school, finding myself going through the same periode again. Why? I have no idea.

If you read this far, I'm truly amazed, and happy that my existence have been noticed by someone. I'll wrap it up here as it got way too long, thank you for reading.